wow its been almost 6 months

well dear diary

its a new year it seems and with a new year comes a new obsession....i guess around april i met Frank really he just picked me up after a really drunk night and we hooked up then we continued to "hook up" until december so yah awhile..of course there was some stretches of times where i didnt see or hear from him..or just ignored him,,but we always managed to come back together at some point..i dunno it was the wierdest most complicated uncomplicated thing ever..haha doesnt even make any fucken sense now does it....i guess his indifference turns me on...the way hes never expressed an emotion or feeling in front of me i love hate it so much      so yeah im pretty fucked in the head diary...but i mean i am do a lil better i havent been thinking of him nearly as much lately....and i havent called him in forever and i tried to remove him from my life as much as possible but i just dunno wanna do something that makes everytime between us right ..but theres nothing i can do its not  going to happen/meant to be i guess...hurts alot when something reminds me of him though very much so like a few other guys ive known man i never thought id get over some of them but i have ....such examples being...first Tyler,brad ..somewhat..brad wilson..that is..Chris...then shawn then nick now frank i think i read somewheres my heart would be broken 6 times so i guess..im in the clear now?? i sure as hell hope so! :)im living with Monica..who the fuck woulda thought eh wah..haha we are tight though...its nice we share everything and for the most part we dont get petty over anything...plus shes one of those ppl that always follows through and god knows i need that in my life...some fucking best friend kyle is supposed to be the only time i hear from him is when hes scared or in trouble...i mean its so beneficial for me too fuckin parasite...but thats life..i dunno how i got into this shitty mood i was beautifully happy......

interesting night..

so last night my cousin came over from the miramichi...she got here around 9 and wanted me to go out with her..so i was like why not its ladies night and all...so she comes with this woman who is 32 and a boy who is 15...something u should know about this is that when your from the miramichi this is not odd at all..and neither is my next sentence really...the 32 y.o woman came over to visit the man/boy (i dunno what to call a 17 y.o really)teenager i suppose that she is fucking....who is a ball tournament over here and cant leave his room after 11...classy eh..anyways we all sit and drink in the hotel room and drink eat some chips ..then around 1am me and tasha(my cousin) head to the bars..first we hit up sweets cause i figure itll be busier...and is it ever....the sweetwaters side is sooo crowded we cant find a place on the dance floor..so we headed over to the hoedeo and dance a jig to a few country songs which was fun enough..tash wants to go out for a smoke so out we go..then im like lets check out the other bar..nicky zees so we head over and the have a dj set up on the main dance floor (the other one was closed off which sucked cause i wanted to show natasha all of zees)anyways its pretty cool music so im busting a move and acting a fool while tash just basicly stands there i figured shed be alot more wild...to be honest...then she says she likes some guy leanin against a pole and im like well go talk to him and shes like "go tell him i think hes cute" and im like fuck tash im not 12 ...so she finally goes over and they talk for a bit while i dance like an epileptic all by myself hehehe..then a few mins later she comes back and i guess he wasnt interested..so we dance and dance until its time to leave and when we leave tash sees some guy outside the bar (right now i should explain shes a horny cow and wants to find a man right bad to fuck ) so hes cute and 19 and blonde and military lol..obviously so they talk and i keep dancing outside lol...then his focus shifts to me (prolly after tash mentions that she has 3 children) anyways he keeps looking at my chest and winking at me so im like oh jesus fuck ...and try and leave but tash dont wanna so we stick around and this blonde guy brings some friends over..one of which is wearing the following; a tight shirt (that does say Mr.Strong which is kinda cool despite the tightness) a cowboy hat and tight tight black jeans and a belt with huge buckle so i sit and talk to them all while tash is trying her best to bed one of em anyways the blonde guy his friend comes over and grabs him by the belt buckle and grabs his waist so i ask if they are a couple and ask them to kiss...which they do but only on the cheek ..anyways a few more minutes of trying to make them kiss coupled by tasha showin her maple leafs tat on her back...which is kinda gross..i figure the boys were sobered up and saying "abort abort" so they left and im about ready to leave...but tash wants food so we walk over to jacks pizza and who do i see but Nick Gillet anyways..if u dont know about him look it up in the archive anyways  it seemed like a good idea to talk to him so i punch his arm and he turns around and sees me and its like hey whats up...we have some *pleasent* conversation and get along fine and i tell him about how mon and i are gonna be moving in together in town and hes like well u guys should call me sometime...and im like sure lemme get a pen so hes like lets go into jacks and get one so we do and i write it down and we talk some more about school and his metal band and his life basicly..then hes leaving so we say good bye and he yells "call me" over his shoulder..anyways im proud b.c this is the first time we have been able to be civil to each other in forever and it was like old times before any of the nosense happened....and im happy b.c i know i never wanna be with him sexually ever again and if we run into each other in places we can be civil ,providing we are both drunk lol...which is all i ever really wanted...things back like they were and im pretty sure things are almost normal..i mean i dont see us being best friends or even friends at all its just good to not have that mutual distaste anymore,so ud think my night was over but oh no it was not lol...tasha tries to get me to leave with her and some guy missing teeth for fucks sakes to party and im like no hun we gotta go home...pract had to drag her home with me..altho i wouldnt have minded leaving her there.hehehehehe  they need a devil one...anyways i think thats all bah im hung over..btw i love u linny if yur reading this.

hawtness!

FAT CUNTE!

okay so this one goes out there to all the fat  CUNTES who have to make everyone elses life a living hell b.c they are FAT fuckin cuntes doesnt mean everyone has to be as miserable as u are. this is inspired by a fat CUNTE banker and my fat CUNTe boss.fuck ya'll

baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

life is le suck....i dunno ...i just hate my dreams......dreams are awful and they make me not wanna sleep just so i can avoid em....lins begged me to write but tonight is no good for me......im down down down like charlie brown and i wanna drown my sorrows in alot of booooooze....ALOT where the fuck is monica when u need her anyways...oh right fuckin pei that bitch.....must whip her...i should give kyle a call he will be up for a booze fest...maybe hell even bitch with me and smoke a couple smokes ...well if shes still gonna live with me the great thing will be getting drunk without arthur around fuck art is a downer.i deleted alot of ppl from my facebook...its gonna make me happier i think........im getting tired of facebook but yunno it has its moments in which it redeems itself like when it tells me lins has sent me a msg :) i luvs me some lins...<3